I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
