Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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