I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
