if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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