can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Randomize
