Kareoke will never be a sober sport
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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