this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
