the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
