You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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