I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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