we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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