was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
