I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize
