No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
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