You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
