just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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