I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
