Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
