I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
