Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
