Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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