My friends, they love my intelligence
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
