I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I'm both gender and math confused
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
