I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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