Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize
