did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
