I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Randomize
