i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Randomize
