She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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