if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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