honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
sarcasm needs its own font
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
