doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
