THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Randomize
