Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
