Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I just want to make out with him forever
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
