I'm going to jail i love you
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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