can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
