pedialite and red bull = repair kit
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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