I'm gonna have a badass scar
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Randomize
