I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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