Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize
