The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
