it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
