i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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