so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
