You work out of a Hotel?
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
