I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
foreskin is a definite game changer
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
