If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
