i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
