i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
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