I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize
